Is it okay for a parent to host underage drinking parties?     

            In a recent Oprah show entitled, Should Your Child Be Doing That?, Dr. Mike Riera, a psychologist and author of, Staying Connected to Your Teenager, discussed when parents allow teenagers to drink at parties in their home, they send the wrong message.

            He made a very interesting observation that should guide all parents.  “When your children are growing up, you are the manager of their lives. Once they reach adolescence, you become a consultant in their lives. As a parent, you have to accept that role and try to influence their choices, not control them. When you condone underage drinking in your house, you're trying to control your child's experience. In the long run, that tactic will not work.”

            It's a teenager's nature to push the limits. They have to take risks in order to grow up and develop an identity. Your job as a parent is to create limits for your kid to experiment within.

            Parents desperately want to stay connected with their kids and remain an       important part of their lives. However, that doesn't mean trying to be your child's friend—you have to be the parent first. Teenagers don't need more friends. They need their parents to be parents. You can build a connection with your child in other ways: through your presence, the ability to hear between the lines, and knowing when they want to open up and talk.

It's also important to be aware of what your child is doing. If they're going to a party, don't assume that the other parents will chaperone the party the way you would. Call to find out if the parents will be there. Then ask the difficult question: Will drinking be allowed? You can then make an informed decision about whether or not your child should be allowed to go to the party.

            Remember that Livingston has the SAFE HOMES program to help parents make that call and keep their child safe.  Parents need to be the child’s consultant and step in to make the hard choices when necessary.

            You can read more about parenting issues on www.Oprah.com.